It's a bird....It's a Plane ....It's Clara Nell

I bet ya’ll thought this post was going to be about a superhero. Well, it sort is. She is quite a character alright. I guess after raising 4 hoodlums I’m surprised she hasn’t been admitted to a mental hospital even if Tyler thinks she should be.

Feb 28 was ‘Ole Nellie’s Birthday and oh what a day it was. Mom and Dad came over for lunch at our house. I cooked some of her favorites Chicken and Dumplings, Fried Chicken, and Banana Pudding. We enjoyed an afternoon of snooping into other people’s business (reading blogs) and cleaning the kitchens (mine and my mother-in-laws). I’ve told mom she needs to get connected and forget the soaps, especially now, since they have same sex couples. Real life is a whole lot more interesting anyways. Plus it goes totally against all the things she told us we couldn't do. Dad brought his Sunday school lesson and sat under the cane shed and studied while Katie washed her steer.

In honor of mom, I thought I would do a flash back of my memoires of mom over my life span.

Way back in the day when jumpers were in style, like well over 30 years ago, my mother thought it would be cute to send me, on the first day of first grade, in a jumpsuit that had a zipper from the crotch to the neck. My teacher wasn’t the most kid-friendly teacher – long story short the zipper stuck and I was in desperate needed to tinkle. Guess who sprinkled? I’m not sure what Clara Nell was thinking but in the end just like a super hero, she came to my rescue and brought me dry clothes.

Like I said, earlier raising four children was could send the most sane person over the edge. When we were younger and lived in the OLD house, a lot of days and nights, Dad was gone selling insurance and then later farming into late into the nights. Mom handled most of the discipline herself --- Back before flip flops were popular, they were typically only worn by, I’m not sure how to say this, but they could only be purchased at places like Pic-n-Save, Kmart, and discount type stores…never would you find flip flops at the mall nor would you pay over 5 bucks for a pair. Now that we know the evolution of the flip flop… not only were these bad boys used as attire for the feet but a they made an awesome impact and unbelievable scary sound when smacked on the fanny. Clara Nell had a quick swipe and swift swing…. whop, whop, whop…. We never knew what hit us. And the Clan was back in line. She didn’t care who, what, when, or where we were. I think the folks at Callahan’s Foodway needed the business, and that’s the only reason they didn’t report mom). Clara Bell wasn’t scared but we were. I could tell stories but I am afraid of what may happen to mom with children’s services.

Mom was an awesome youth director. She planned the neatest events to places like the Studstill’s hunting camp and lock-ins at the church. Because she might read this post, I cannot tell the stories. But I will say this….she thought she caught us but were a little too sneaky.

Let’s skip ahead to when I was 20 and a single mom… Having no one to attend Lamaze with me, my dear sweet mother went with me. If I must say we were the highlight of class. The breathing, the video, the laying on the floor pretending to be in labor, the massage techniques only lead to one thing….wet britches. We would get so tickled and then the other members of the class would start laughing. Usually, class ended early because of us. I don’t know who was more thankful that I had a c-section mom or me---I don’t think if our life depended it we could execute the techniques Nurse Graham taught us to make my labor easier.

One Mom’s and my favorite places is Lake Weir. Tons of childhood memories have been made for both of us here. We like it best when it’s just us and a few select friends. I like to fry in the sun on raft in a itsy witsy tiny tinny winny bikini, while she likes to “bob” under the dock in T-shirt, skirted bathing suits and hat. I’m only sure, after my first diagnosis of skin cancer; I’ll be under the dock with her covered from head to toe. The days are spent relaxing and rest for the night…that’s when the adventure begins. At night, we turn in to rodent warriors combating huge roaches or spiders. I might do a side show of lip singing mixed with theatrical interpretation of the music. Unfortunately, we have lost the home video but the mental image is deeply planted in my memory. Last summer, at 72 years of age, she actually went “tubing” for the first time at the lake. Next time you see one of the boys you’ll have to have them enlighten you. If you know mom very well you know here eye brows were going wacko and she was yelling commands instead of paying attention. From my understanding, she did not fall off. The scene from the movie the Greet Outdoors just replayed in my mind. Come to think, of it before we go in August, maybe I ought to take out a little insurance on the ‘ole gal.

Should you have a medical need concern or condition fear not Clara Nell and Campho-phenique together can cure anything…zits, lie bumps on your tongue, scratches, insect bites, sting weed itches, diabetes, cancer…well maybe not the last two…they haven’t completed the research. Clara Nell stayed with me the days after my surgery and boy was it nice. She waited on me, pampered me and talked when I wanted to talk and read her novel when I wanted peace and quiet. I was pretty well medicated….. so I don’t know if she applied Campho-phenique to my incision.


Anyway I could tell tale after tale about my mom and I know each of you have your on recollections of her. She is truly one of a kind and I am glad she’s my mom.