Marsha Cook: The Smartest Person I Know

I have stumbled across some fairly intelligent folks in my life. For instance; my friend Kathy graduated Summa Cum Laude. I graduated Thank the Laude. My husband is an unbelievable mathematician he always knows exactly how much money I have spent without opening my VISA bill. Rachael, a student I taught in third grade could read 8 syllable words with out sounding them out. I am not really sure what sound “x” makes--- I never learned phonics. Rick Reed use gargantuan words to describe everyday occurrence. When I try to mimic him I can’t even use spell check to find the words. But Marsha Cook takes the prize. She is the smartest person I know.

Occasionally, I would rather ignore a matter rather than actually do something to solve the problem. Point in case…for the last 4 ½ years Charlee has slept in our bed. Some nights, Steven can be found snuggled up on the couch instead of with his wonderful wife because Rooty Tooty Hines has twisted his hair too tight, or has him dangling off the edge of the bed or she has taken coverage under his rib cage . Notice I said Steven goes to the couch, I personally can sleep through a hurricane…..I have had plenty of practice. At lunch, I have mentioned to the YaYas that Charlee will not sleep in her on bed. Patsy offers no help, because her kids slept with her and David. Lori and Ms. Minnie apparently had great sleepers. But Marsha on the other hand had Adam. Her trick to get Adam to take Sunday afternoon naps was to give him books on tape. I thought to myself this will never work with Charlee because she has to have hair to twist and is a whiner.

Last weekend while cleaning one of the two closets in my house, I came across a personal CD player with earphones we had bought Steven’s granny 3 years ago for Christmas. Immediately, I thought of Marsha and said to myself there’s no way. I put it back on the shelf.

Yesterday, I had to stop by the Dollar General to get cleaning supplies and found the deal of the century (no it wasn’t a snuggly) They had kids CDs for $2…that’s right $2. Charlee being the deal finder she is loaded the buggy down . We had everything imaginable …Love tunes, Wedding Hits, and a Spanish CD (I’m not really sure what it was) a Clifford CD and Tractor songs. I bought the latter two and secretly put the others back.


BEDTIME came, I broke out the CD player and the bargain buys from earlier. First we listened to Clifford, Charlee sat criss cross applesauce at the end of bed….determined she would not lie down. About 10 minutes later she wanted the CD switched. She still remained at the end of bed refusing to put her head on the pillow, but she was motionless. Katie actually walked in, spoke to her and she never said a word. Another 10 or so minutes pasted. Being indecisive, Charlee wanted the CD changed for the last time. This time the hand went under the pillow and the strong-willed little girl finally put her head down. It wasn’t long before her eyes closed and she was sound asleep …no screaming….no hollering…no battle … everybody had a great night’s sleep. Who would have known that Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer was a lullaby and Marsha would be right.
Let’s hope tonight will be as successful.

Ode to a Brother

Today is my Brother Kelley’s 43rd birthday. I wish I was creative enough to come up with forty three things to tell about him but I am a slow thinker and an even slower typer. Maybe this should be a post in progress. Here are a few extraordinary things about my brother

1. He’s the alpha and I am the omega of our family.

2. Kelley is very quiet unless he has a story to tell and then you had better listen closely because it is going to be the funniest story you have ever heard.

3. When I was in high school he would let me drive his truck to school and uptown. He had awesome sound system. My friend Kathy Walker and I would turn up the cassette tape(yes it was that long ago) with our favorite song “Whose Johnny” and sing at the top of our lungs.

4. We look a little bit alike. We both have reddish hair, light complexion that always burns at the lake, green eyes and the same build. We both have bulging bellies. We inherited that from my mother’s side of the family. A long time ago it was funny to compare who could blow their belly out the most. Now I try suck mine in and his just stays that way.

5. He’s been a great dad to 3 kids. Jarred is the most unique and respectable young man I know. He is currently serving our country in the US Army. Kaitlyn and Steven are smart loveable kids. All three have a love beyond measure for Kelley.

6. He is a momma’s boy and I am a momma’s girl. Angela and Zane are daddy’s.

7. He can read super fast. I mean so fast you can’t even understand it like this ANHDUAFIAFJHFHOUh. A whole book in milliseconds. The neices and nephews love to have a story read to them by Uncle Goofy.

8. Since 1979, he has sat in the same seat at the dinner table at Mom and Dad’s.

9. Kelley keeps a precise calendar of the events that happen on Quincey Farms. \He started this when Jarred was a little boy.

10. He uses a cow bird for everyday analogies. For instance, he would say I am as thirsty as a cowbird or I am as hungry as a cowbird.

12. He loves to vacation at Lake Weir.

11. He’s my big brother and I dearly LOVE him.

Beauty and the Beast

Have you watched the movie Beauty and the Beast lately? Well when Katie and Tyler were toddlers we watched it all the time …to the point of memorization. It is an absolutely magical movie and reminds me of my own Katie Grace in many different ways.

Katie –The Beauty
Over the last few months, I have watched Katie turn from a Beauty Queen to Weightlifting Beast literally before my eyes. In October, Katie was nominated as the Junior Class Homecoming Attendant. The weeks before homecoming were filled with all sorts of shopping trips searching for the most stunning dress possible. If I must say we completed our mission. We had planned every minute detail (so we thought).

The first part of the week went off with out a hitch--- because all the excitement with Homecoming activities happens at the end of the week -duh. The unfortunate part was I had had surgery the week before and had a 6-7 inch incision in my groin area and was under strict doctor’s orders to not be out and about –yeah right, who listens to their doctors anyway. So lucky for me, I have great friends that said they had it covered, don’t worry about a thing and I didn’t. Patsy lined up the cars for the parade and the field. Lori did all the running and getting Katie where she was suppose, more importantly stepped in and acted as a mother/personal assistant to Katie. Marsha made the extravagant signs for the car. Ms. Nancy and Michelle along with all the TES staff hollered and whistled at the parade. I’m sure a lot of other people did things but I was on good medication and didn’t really know what was going on. The Tiger Growl was great Katie was able to wear her cheerleading uniform and cheer/dance for the mighty Tigers.

The parade was wild. This is where the adventure began. Besides Patsy arranging a car, Katie’s dad had also lined up a car. I guess he felt the need to get involved in the events. He had talked with Charlie Cox and prearranged to use his antique Stingray Corvette. Steven’s best friend Robert went to pick up the car only to find that Charlie went on vacation and forget to leave the keys. Robert searched high and low for the perfect car for Katie. Robert found this awesome convertible truck. That he borrowed from his Captain at the fire department Did I fail to mention all of this happened on the morning of the parade. Yeah I know… it was a Chevy, tough looking and low - n- behold it matched Katie’s dress. Talk about luck.

After the parade we had limited time to get ready before the evening festivities. We had to take one of my Grandma Flossie’s famous PTA baths. I’ll let you figure out what that stands for. It’s amazing that Katie looked absolutely beautiful that night. But thanks to Dara Wright she transformed Katie into Homecoming Beauty. Katie being Katie picked out a cheap dress to save money. She is always thinking of others. After my post doctors visit Clara Nell and I decide to go back to the Dillard’s and buy the original dress Katie loved. I am glad we did. She was undoubtedly the prettiest one. But I wouldn’t be partial.

You remember the trouble with the car…before Steven had gotten involved we had planned on using one of Shelia Clark’s unique rides. Thank the Lord for Ms. Shelia, we were able to use her brand new, barely 24 hours old convertible --- and it matched Katie’s dress.

I think people may have thought she was vain but we see it as blessed.
As soon as the Half time fluff was over Katie quickly changed into her cheerleading uniform minus her own bloomers. Apparently, she really wanted to cheer. She put on the bloomers Lacey had worn all day--yuck. Personally I wouldn’t wear nobody’s and I

mean nobody’s drawers. (Annie I know you are agreeing with me).
The entire evening was truly magical. It was all Katie thought the evening should be.


Katie- the Beast
If you haven’t heard----Katie is on the THS Girl’s Weightlifting Team. She is undefeated as well as the team for 4 years straight.

She absolutely loves being a part of the team. However, we struggle with Steven’s stories of being the STATE CHAMP … Katie and I snicker and roll our eyes. He asks Kate almost everyday “did you tell your coach I was a state champ”…hello that was 20 something years ago. Here are some pictures of Katie lifting wei

She can bench 140 plus more if she needs to. She never grunts or makes faces. The judges always try to get her to lift more but why should she … she’s already one of the strongest girls on the team. In the clean and jerk division, Katie can lift around a 105 pounds.

She is as strong as an ox and prettier than a picture.

After school Munchies

This will be the second retelling of this story. The first was deleted by none other than the infamous Charlee.

Friday night , I had a few minutes before we rushed back to town to watch the Bell/Trenton ball game in which Trenton lost and thought I would type a post to my blog with the time I had to spare. My first mistake was thinking I could type a post in 30 minutes. My second mistake was not saving my work as I went. This is a lesson I should have learned in college when I lost my entire Senior Seminar paper…but that’s a whole other story. See I told ya’ll this blog would be filled (wait one minute and let me save) with lots of adventures and mishaps in my life.


Here’s it goes…..

The girls and I had just walked into our freezing humble abode from a long winter’s day at work. Kate rushed outside to feed up then bolted back in to take a quick shower and get ready for the game – of course she had someone she wanted to impress. While she busied herself about getting ready, I sat and typed what I thought was the best narrative I have ever written. As I typed Charlee, burst into the room commented she was hungry and wanted a sandwich for a snack. I ignored her and kept on blogging. The next thing I know she is poking a slimy, bag of Lil’ Smokies left over Christmas in my face asking what it was and could she make a sandwich with it. I jumped up out of the recliner before any gunk could drip on me and went into the kitchen with her to assist with her endeavor for making a snack.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear but wheat bread scattered from pillar to post. Then I noticed the making of Charlee’s sandwich. There on the table lay 2 slices of bread—the heels at that. Charlee had diligently attempted to make her snack with no assistance. As I looked over her creation, I noticed the heap of mustard and the stream that was flowing down the bread and onto the table. The mayo was haphazardly spread everywhere. I knew in an instant I had to help. I was able to convince her that the bread would taste nasty sicne it was form dad' hunting trip last week. I dug in the refrigerator for some fresh sliced deli meat. I thought she might allow me to help but that was totally out of the question. If you haven’t figured it out...Charlee is extremely hard headed. I not exactly sure where she gets it from.

As I was reaching my hand into the bread sack, Charlee scolded me and stated she could get her own bread. So, I stepped back. Sister girl then proceed with the condiments. First was the mustard. I tried to explain that a little squirt goes a long way. Apparently, she loves mustard because it was on thickly spread on both slices of bread and the napkin. Next, came the mayo, she dipped her knife deep into the jar and pulled out the biggest mound of mayo ever lifted by knife out of a jar of mayonnaise. I’m guess as she was transporting the mayo to the bread, it kind of plunged off the knife onto the bread. As she spread it, of course, it traveled to places far beyond the bread. Charlee happened to notice the excessive mayo on the crust and sighed “Geez Lordy”. I thought I would pee in my pants. Now the whole time this escapade is going on, Katie is hollering “Are you going to be ready, don’t make me late.”

We were finally ready for the ham. (Praise the Lord). I opened the zip seal and Charlee grabbed a slice of ham and laid it very precisely on the bread. She reached back in for a second slice. This time she couldn’t get it to lay how she wanted. After numerous attempts she decided what the heck—slammed the two meticulously prepared edible masterpieces together. But before she could sample her creation she reached for an additional slice of ham and placed it at the top of the napkin. Wondering what she was doing I asked and she replied “Aunt Annie always puts an extra piece on my plate”.


Charlee had only eaten about ½ of her condiment and ham sandwich when she decided it was time for her to get ready for the ballgame also. She had mentioned that she was going to wear her cheerleading outfit and muttered something else, but I was back trying to finish my post before getting ready for the game. She ran into the bedroom and later reappeared almost ready for the game---she had on long black pants and nothing else. She asked if I would help her finish putting her wardrobe together. I laid my computer down and we went in the room ---scrounging around for something she wanted. I convinced her to put on a long sleeve black shirt. She topped it off with her OSU (Oklahoma State University, not the team we beat for the Championship) cheerleading uniform. Their colors are orange and black also. I decide since I was in the room I could go ahead and get ready for the game myself. In the meantime, Charlee completed her outfit.

After I got ready I went back into the family room to find my computer DEAD. I frantically tried to figure out what the problem was but could only allude to the notorious Charlee. During this moment of madness in walks the culprit. With eyes batting, says “See I told you this would like look GREAT”. If I must say she looked absolutely adorable, until we got down to the pink socks and black paten Sunday shoes. Its moments like this that makes life worth living.

Katie made it to the game, somewhat on time and got to sit with the man of her dreams briefly, I not sure if he is even aware of that.

Ain't it a beautiful day in the Lord,

Kimberly

Homework, Oh Homework

We just returned from Katie’s Football Banquet. And now we have English homework to try to finish. I am having a hard time remembering the grammar rules from my days of teaching sixth grade Languages Arts. I am sure that only Carrie would know and implement these rules properly. For instance, in this sentence what part of speech is WELL---Don’t you think that everyone on the team played well?

By the time anyone could or would respond the paper will be graded and more than likely it will be marked “WRONG”. Katie went with adverb since it tells how the team played. I agree.

I would import a picture from the banquet but the picture I took looked more like a line dance move (Electric Slide) than a reception of an award. Plus Charlee forget to turn the camera off --- and the new batteries I bought 3minutes before the banquet are now completely useless. This stuff only happens to me I swear.

As I sit and try to think of words to describe the details and attributes of myself the words from a John Denver song calls out–

“Well Life on the farm is kinda laid back
Ain’t much an ole country girl like me can’t hack….
Thank God I’m a country girl

Well a simple life never did me no harm
A rasin’ me a family and workin’ on a farm
My days are filled with easy country charm
Thank God I’m a country girl.

When the sun’s coming up I got cakes on the griddle
Life ain’t nothing but a funny, funny riddle
Thank God I’m country girl. “


I have been extremely blessed from Day 1. I was raised by Christian parents. Their faith in God has always been the glue that keeps us together. My mother is my biggest fan. She thinks I do no wrong, well now that I am older and don’t have to make curfew that’s her thoughts. My father taught the importance of hard work. As a child, my school breaks were filled with the joys of hard labor. Which now as an adult I appreciate. Summer days were spent loading watermelons and tobacco baling hay or whatever else needed to be done. The best part about working on the farm was the friendships that were formed. For some odd reason, a lot of my cousins would want to spend their summers working with us--- can you imagine --- working in the sun for a vacation. In all honesty, it was fun. We would turn up the radio (when dad wasn’t around) and sing, tell stories about the weekend and plan our events for next weekend. It was great growing up on a farm. I loved it so much I married a farmer-- a tobacco farmer at that.

October 23 or 24 depend on who you asked, I married the love of my life Steven Hines. The first time I met him I was totally taken by his sweet smile and twinkling eyes. We dated for what seemed like an eternity, and out of the blue he said “wear something nice to work tomorrow and well go to the courthouse”. Yeah I know he is so romantic. We got our marriage license that next day. Nobody knew we were engaged until they read it in the JOURNAL. I won’t get into the details of the “wedding” I would rather my friend Cheri not be put in jail for illegal documentation. We’ve been married for a little over 6 years and I do occasionally, get the seven year itch but I can not imagine anyone but Steven seeing this body naked. It’s an ugly sight. He may not be perfect all the time but God made him just for me and I thank him for that.

We have two girls Katie 16 and Charlee 4. Let me do the math for you—16 take away four would be 12 year differences. Yeah, I know I ask myself the same question “what were you thinking?”. Dr. Cook was so excited she said “Oh, think of the relationship these girls will have.” I sat straight up and replied This isn’t a relationship, it’s a generation gap.” This is most evident in the car when Katie wants to listen to 105.3 and Charlee wants to sing Jingle Bells. They are as different as a missionary and a politician. I’ll let you decide which one is which.

Katie is my companion. I enjoy her more everyday. We love to sing as loud as we can to the 80’s. It always take me back in time to the days of riding in Kelley’s truck with the girls –singing as loud and off key as we can. One morning, I woke up and my little girl had been replaced with this beautiful woman. She is brilliant, a jack of all trades, and as cootie phobic as me. She loves to play the piano, especially songs from Disney movies and eighties. She was a varsity cheerleader and absolutely loved it. She enjoys being outside with the wide variety of animals we have on the farm. Katie has a small herd of Black Angus heifers and shows them at local events. She was the 11th grade homecoming attendant at THS. Her favorite place to be is Church. She is planning a trip to England in the spring with our youth pastor and his wife. No matter how old she is, she still thinks that when she is at meme’s they are suppose to swing and sing. She never ceases to amaze me. She has the Maidus touch.

Charlee is a typical four year old--- very self absorbed. She lights up the room when she walks in. She loves to teach school and play momma with her dolls. She can be found reading books to her dolls and teaching them songs and of course ‘getting onto them for not listening. Charlee loves to clean. If I am vacuuming she will take the vacuum away and finish the job. She loves to do homework especially if Katie is doing homework. It seems as though she always needs to do an “art project” which means she wants to make a mess and that’s the excuse to drag everything out or overflow the sink. She loves to jump in pink Jeep and drive across the yard to Grandma’s. Her vocabulary and stories blow us away. She so petite, and then her mouth opens. Unlike her mom, Charlee requires very little sleep. Needless to say, she keeps us on our toes.


As for me, I am reading coach at the elementary. I think I got the job because I was the only one who had a Masters in reading. I didn’t really want to make that public knowledge since I am awful at writing and seldom pick up a book to read for pleasure. I have a BA in Psychology which explains why strangers want to stop me in Wal-Mart and tell me their life’s story. I have taught school around 12 years and counting the days until retirement (15 and ½ years). I love going to church. I teach second and third graders in Sunday school, the College and Career on Wednesday nights and serve on the Youth committee and occasionally I might be spotted in the choir singing bass.
Since I life on a farm, I spend a lot of time cooking, baking and canning. I love to entertain but our small cracker house makes that impossible unless we entertain on the deck of the pool or huddled around a bond fire. I collect cook books – good one. I like the ones churches and social groups put together. They use have recipes people actually fix. Once again I made the New Year’s resolution to read my Bible through, I want tell you where I am at with that.

I used to be an immaculate house keeper until I had Charlee and the house grew smaller. Like I was saying earlier, we live in a 2 bedroom, 1 bath Cracker House. My father-in-law, Robert and Steven were both born and raised in this house for periods of their lives. When we brought Charlee home from the hospital it was a unique feeling for her to be the third generation to grow up here. Lucky for me, I have air conditioning and heat, an inside bathroom, a larger kitchen and two closets than the mothers before me had. Storage space is limited so my house always looks like somebody robbed us and ram sacked my house. With only two beds and two closets a lot of “stuff” has no place to call home. Needless to say, my house could use a makeover. Hopefully, one day we will build our dream house.

Why Aunt B’s Adventures?
Over the years, my dad has always called me Kimbee. When my nephew Tyler was baby he picked up the B and so the story goes I became Aunt B. I picked adventures because I am always in the middle of some wild escapade no one would believe. I hope you enjoy my blog and the ridiculous and poorly written events of my life.

Love Kimberly